Countdown to...
Convocation. 22 Days.
Well it seems I passed the two courses I've been spazing over in the last few weeks. Definitely surprised by what I found as I logged on to check my marks. Let's just say I have finally been awarded for my mediocre efforts at academics. First, I did surprisingly well on my Industrial Organisation course.
During the exam for this course, I was leafing through the flimsy exam booklet in disbelief. I was having a conversation with the exam questions... Says I "Hey, I know you from somewhere. Do I know you?" Says the question, "No...but I know I smell something and it's your brain rotting away. Gotta go! Have fun answering me, jackass!" ensued by a loud slam of the door. I knew about 80% of the material, did well on the practice exams, yet went into the exam sweating like a prostitute in church. I left maybe 60% of the exam unanswered, or at times when I did answer, did so with simple sentences followed by bold question marks I drew out of exasperation. Then with 20 minutes left, I started thinking how much I needed on my paper to get myself a delicious D...then when I calculated that if I failed the final (say 40%), I would need about 99% on the final paper. Then I started to ponder upon the various things I can do to salvage my mark... an extra paper? a summer of tending to his garden? babysit his kid? sexual favours? anything for a pass. My prof appears to be quite the normal guy, but who knows, I'd be willing to fulfill any twisted sexual perversions he might have had... I was that desperate. I was a whore for crucial marks.
Who would have thunk...C+ as a final mark. I was floored. What the f--? SOLD. Best C+. Ever.
Then, I did surprisingly well on the big paper on malaria and economic growth.
I find it puzzling how I can manage to get such a good grade considering the paper was a clumsily compiled package consisting of pages and pages of ubiquitous non sequiturs (no joke). It lacked creativity to the point where it was teetering on borderline plagirism. Well, after hours tapping away on a keyboard using words like 'income' and 'disease' for every damn line for close to thirty pages, innovative word usage and academic integrity are things that just don't register. I thought I was pretty screwed when I typed the 'Conclusions' heading and realised I: (a) forgot what question my paper was specifically addressing; and having forgotten what the topic was, I promtly checked page 1's 'Introduction' and thus (b) forgot whether I actually had data to support my statement. Luckily I did have a few numbers up my ass I could conveniently pull out. After close to two days of sleep deprivation, I was nonetheless surprised to discover I still had the faculty to form simple sentences (i.e. Noun+verb+direct object).
So the concluding sentences I wrote for 'the big one' also became the last words I will ever write in my academic career...I think. So for the record, ladies and gentlemen, here are my conclusions.
Regionally speaking, malaria prevalence will cause a 0.8 per cent growth decrease per annum and Sub-Saharan African countries face a higher rate of negative growth at 1.2 per cent per annum. These results were all statistically significant using a null hypothesis test (hypothesis where malaria had no effect on income vs. malaria had some effect).
Screw spell checking. Screw grammar. Screw proof-reading. Saved it. Printed it. Got up from my chair and let out a raucous "FUCK YOU, UBC" as I fingered my poor dusty laptop monitor. Sure, it was a vulgar way to mark the end of school, but I felt relieved.
Done at last.
Hong Kong. 24 Days.
I'll be off to Hong Kong in 24 days to begin a smog-filled summer. I promise to bring back some lovely momentos. Say, SARS isn't around anymore, is it? Well, it's totally passe. I'll bring back the latest crazed disease, but not the bird flu 'cause on it's way out.
There is something that I know I'll love in Hong Kong: the subway system (MTR). Clean and efficient and damn refreshing. Which is why I was all giddy when I stumbled upon this song on the RTHK Radio 3's website.
The song had Diana and I in stiches and cooing over how adorable it was for gweilos to pronounce Chinese names. We subsequently googled a MTR route map to sing along...I unashamedly had the song on loop.
Geekiness to the max...and fun for FOBs and bananas alike who have been to Stinky Harbour.
Well it seems I passed the two courses I've been spazing over in the last few weeks. Definitely surprised by what I found as I logged on to check my marks. Let's just say I have finally been awarded for my mediocre efforts at academics. First, I did surprisingly well on my Industrial Organisation course.
During the exam for this course, I was leafing through the flimsy exam booklet in disbelief. I was having a conversation with the exam questions... Says I "Hey, I know you from somewhere. Do I know you?" Says the question, "No...but I know I smell something and it's your brain rotting away. Gotta go! Have fun answering me, jackass!" ensued by a loud slam of the door. I knew about 80% of the material, did well on the practice exams, yet went into the exam sweating like a prostitute in church. I left maybe 60% of the exam unanswered, or at times when I did answer, did so with simple sentences followed by bold question marks I drew out of exasperation. Then with 20 minutes left, I started thinking how much I needed on my paper to get myself a delicious D...then when I calculated that if I failed the final (say 40%), I would need about 99% on the final paper. Then I started to ponder upon the various things I can do to salvage my mark... an extra paper? a summer of tending to his garden? babysit his kid? sexual favours? anything for a pass. My prof appears to be quite the normal guy, but who knows, I'd be willing to fulfill any twisted sexual perversions he might have had... I was that desperate. I was a whore for crucial marks.
Who would have thunk...C+ as a final mark. I was floored. What the f--? SOLD. Best C+. Ever.
Then, I did surprisingly well on the big paper on malaria and economic growth.
I find it puzzling how I can manage to get such a good grade considering the paper was a clumsily compiled package consisting of pages and pages of ubiquitous non sequiturs (no joke). It lacked creativity to the point where it was teetering on borderline plagirism. Well, after hours tapping away on a keyboard using words like 'income' and 'disease' for every damn line for close to thirty pages, innovative word usage and academic integrity are things that just don't register. I thought I was pretty screwed when I typed the 'Conclusions' heading and realised I: (a) forgot what question my paper was specifically addressing; and having forgotten what the topic was, I promtly checked page 1's 'Introduction' and thus (b) forgot whether I actually had data to support my statement. Luckily I did have a few numbers up my ass I could conveniently pull out. After close to two days of sleep deprivation, I was nonetheless surprised to discover I still had the faculty to form simple sentences (i.e. Noun+verb+direct object).
So the concluding sentences I wrote for 'the big one' also became the last words I will ever write in my academic career...I think. So for the record, ladies and gentlemen, here are my conclusions.
Regionally speaking, malaria prevalence will cause a 0.8 per cent growth decrease per annum and Sub-Saharan African countries face a higher rate of negative growth at 1.2 per cent per annum. These results were all statistically significant using a null hypothesis test (hypothesis where malaria had no effect on income vs. malaria had some effect).
Screw spell checking. Screw grammar. Screw proof-reading. Saved it. Printed it. Got up from my chair and let out a raucous "FUCK YOU, UBC" as I fingered my poor dusty laptop monitor. Sure, it was a vulgar way to mark the end of school, but I felt relieved.
Done at last.
Hong Kong. 24 Days.
I'll be off to Hong Kong in 24 days to begin a smog-filled summer. I promise to bring back some lovely momentos. Say, SARS isn't around anymore, is it? Well, it's totally passe. I'll bring back the latest crazed disease, but not the bird flu 'cause on it's way out.
There is something that I know I'll love in Hong Kong: the subway system (MTR). Clean and efficient and damn refreshing. Which is why I was all giddy when I stumbled upon this song on the RTHK Radio 3's website.
The song had Diana and I in stiches and cooing over how adorable it was for gweilos to pronounce Chinese names. We subsequently googled a MTR route map to sing along...I unashamedly had the song on loop.
Geekiness to the max...and fun for FOBs and bananas alike who have been to Stinky Harbour.
posted by the Beeb at 11:01
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