When Ants Attack

Here I am, up to my ears in deadlines and trying to invent games and activities to help pass the time.

For now, besides writing this entry, I'm looking for dismembered and hollowed-out ant/insect carcasses. For those who didn't already know - I recently discovered a possible carpenter ant nest directly above my desk last week. Racked by my irrepressible entomophobia, I've been busy Wiki-ing and Googling "ants" every hour in an attempt to uncover any new websites that may provide DIY mass ant murdering instructions. Knowledge is power. But unfortunately, all this new-found knowledge just exacerbated my fear of insects. Next time when I Google, I ought to type in "ants" and "psychological damage."

Turns out the recurring clue in my daily "24 Hours" crossword is really misleading. A three letter word for "picnic pest" merely understates the diabolical nature of these damn things. Somehow I feel ants are more devious than just ruining a light lunch of cucumber sandwiches and lukewarm tea.

It would appear that carpenter ants really love devouring damp and decaying wood, which they hollow out to build their colony, but the critters also munch on their own for food. This may explain why I've found pieces of hollowed ant and bee carcasses on my desk, on the carpet, and yes, even in my bed. They're also most active at night. No longer can I repose in silence as the moment my
computer and TV are turned off, all that can be heard is the muffled rustling emanating from above as ants chew through the layers of insulation in my roof.

Yes, I know I need to call the exterminator. That will be done as soon as I'm done with all my papers on Friday...fingers crossed.